How Do I Develop A Good and Stronger Relationship With My Parents-In-Law?

Developing a good and stronger relationship with parents-in-law can be something very important for any married couple depending on your culture. In my Melanesian culture, the success of my future married life depends on the relationship I build with my parents-in-law and the extended family and relatives right from the beginning.

Developing a stronger relationship with parents-in-law is a family and relationship challenge. When you marry your partner, you become part of an extended family. There are many people in the life and family circle of your spouse and the most important ones are your parents-in-law. Some may have good relations with you while others may pose challenges for you.

If you want to develop a good and stronger relationship with your parents-in-law then YOU have to initiate the change. It all depends on you.

Ask yourself these questions and write your answers down.

• How would you describe your parents-in-law?
• Determine what it is that have gone wrong.
• What challenges have you got to deal with?
• How is your relationship with them now? Is there anything working alright and do you want it to keep happening?
• What is the major problem or problems that you have to deal with?
• What have you already done to address the problem?
• Are you getting your spouse’s support to address the problem and create a better relationship with your parents-in-law?
• How are the actions of your parents-in-law towards you?

Find a quiet time and place and read what you have written down. What you want is to have a good and stronger relationship with your parents-in-law. To succeed in getting what you want, you need to have a vision and goal of where you want your relationship to be and work towards it.

• What it is that you would like to achieve through a good and closer relationship with your parents-in-law?
• What would a good and closer relationship look like? (Your desired outcome)
• When would you like to experience this change in relationship with them?

Your answers to these questions and what you have previously written down should help you develop an action plan on what exactly you will do until you achieve the relationship you want with your parents-in-law. There must be clarity in what you want to achieve, have it written down and work at it.

Check on potential challenges or obstacles that may arise and identify how to overcome them. You may also seek support from professional people to achieve your relationship goal.

If you want the change, you begin the process yourself. Once your parents-in-law note the changes in your behaviours and attitudes, their attitudes towards you will change, too. Any change will take TIME and PATIENCE.